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This is the ninth in a series of articles about Flow. In each of the articles I look more closely at Flow, each of the individual characteristics, and how we can use Flow in our leadership practice.
In the first article of the series, I talked about the idea of Flow as described by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi 
As I’ve mentioned previously, when we are participating in an activity that potentially leads to a Flow experience, we get deeply engrossed in the task at hand. The key to this is to focus on the present moment. As we do, we are in total control of ourselves and ignore what is going on around us and our problems.
As we are participating in an activity we have such an intense feeling of being in control of our performance that we are actually hypersensitive to what is going on with our minds and bodies. In this sense we are extremely aware of ourselves.
For instance, a pianist is acutely aware of her fingers, yet doesn’t have the need to control each movement, the notes just seem to come from her hand on their own. Similarly, when I’m writing I don’t have a need to control my fingers on the keyboard and the words just seem to flow on their own.
But there is a paradox that when we are in Flow. We have this extreme awareness of ourselves and yet we also tend to lose ourselves. I’m not talking here about losing our inhibitions and acting in a way that doesn’t seem like us. Rather, I’m talking about losing our sense of self, our aloneness.
In fact, we really aren’t losing anything. Instead we’re actually gaining an understanding that we are part of something larger than ourselves.
When we are experiencing Flow it is very much an individual feeling that we aren’t able to share with others. No matter how individual we like to think we are, we have a built-in need to be a part of something larger; a family, a group, a team, a tribe.
As we are experiencing Flow we lose our own ego to the point of feeling part of something greater than ourselves. This is what gives us the feeling of happiness and satisfaction, knowing that we are part of something more while performing individually at our best.
The feeling we get when we know that we part of something greater than ourselves allows us to start seeing others for who they are, not what they can do for us. Which is why Flow is so important for leaders to understand.
Leader’s Reflection: When we are able to experience Flow on a regular basis we are able to live a happy and satisfying life. When we are able to experience Flow in our everyday work we find the work more satisfying. When we participate in an activity that is generating Flow, we are extremely aware of our minds and bodies but we also lose ourselves. This gives us a greater understanding that we are part of something greater than ourselves.
I have this experience frequently when I am coaching a leader.
A few years ago I was coaching someone who worked in a city hall. It was a very intense conversation (in a good way) and I was completely immersed in it.
When the two of us stepped out of the office, the administrative assistant asked if we had heard the alarms or heard her knock on the door and tell us to stay in the room we were in. Apparently, they were having a mock emergency drill for an act of terrorism or other dangerous situation.
Neither of us heard a thing. I completely understood that both of us had been in the “flow” of the dialog.
Mary Jo, this is such a great story that really describes exactly what I’ve been trying explain. Where I’m going next with all of this Flow stuff is that we should be trying to find Flow experiences as often as we can. When we are able to experience Flow on a regular basis in our work, it means that we’re doing what we were meant to do. If you are able to have this experience frequently when you are doing your coaching work, that tells me that you’re doing exactly the work you should be.