Reading time: 6 – 10 minutes
We can all picture the scene in our mind; the weary traveler that has trekked up the mountain in the barren reaches of the Himalaya to find a solitary figure sitting in the lotus position in the mouth of a cave. As the traveler finally takes the last steps of the arduous trip, he stops in front of the mystic and says, “Guru, please, I have traveled many miles. Could you tell me, what is the meaning of life?”
While I’m no Guru and I’ve never been to the Himalaya, I do have an idea of what the meaning of life is and how we can all go about finding it. It all starts with a dream.
What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?
We all have dreams, hopes and aspirations. From the time we are little we are repeatedly asked what we want to be when we grow up. As kids we tend to gravitate to those things that we see our heroes doing; fireman, athlete, actor, etc. When I was a kid my dad was a banker and from about the age of six that’s what I wanted to be. As I grew older and saw more of the world this dream went away, but as fate would have it my first job was actually working in a bank during high school and college. When I graduated from college I took a position in the same bank. I had become the banker I had wanted to be, just like my dad!
The unfortunate thing is that many times we define ourselves by what we do for a living or by the things that we have accumulated. In fact, this is reinforced throughout our lives. Everywhere we look we find this focus on what we want to be, do, or have. Many of us have our dreams wrapped around what we want to be, do, and have, which eventually leads to frustration because once we get what we dreamed of being, doing, or having, we find it just isn’t “all that”.
I once heard a speaker describe it this way: we don’t want to spend our entire lives climbing the corporate and society ladder only to realize that we had the ladder up against the wrong wall. The worst thing I can image is laying on my deathbed wondering if this is all there was and that I had spent my life chasing the wrong dream. But how do we ensure that we don’t go through life chasing the wrong dream? If we don’t want to fall into the trap of focusing our life dream on what we want to be, do or have, what’s the alternative?
Sweet Dreams Are Made of This
Doug Newburg, in his book “The Most Important Lesson No One Ever Taught Me“
While some of us have trouble figuring out what we want to be when we grow up, it is even harder for most of us to figure out how we want to feel. But I believe this is the real meaning of life. I think in order to live our most meaningful life, we need to work towards this internal dream.
How Do I Want to Feel?
Figuring out our internal dream can be a life-long undertaking for some and for many is something that never happens. Being able to articulate a specific internal dream is not something we can readily do after sitting and thinking about it during an hour of quiet time. The trouble with trying to articulate our internal dream is that we are programmed throughout life to focus on what we want to be, do, and have instead of how we want to feel. Even if we can identify a feeling that gave us pleasure and want to replicate it, it’s hard to articulate it in terms of how we can live in a way that allows us to feel this way that is also expanding and allows us to grow as individuals.
I had someone tell me that she knew exactly how she wanted to feel and went on to describe a vivid scene of sitting on the beach watching the sunrise. She was able to paint a very descriptive mental picture of what caused the feeling, but she struggled to clearly articulate exactly what that feeling was. Without being able to clearly articulate the feeling, it is difficult to find ways to replicate it and even harder to create a life that allows us to live our internal dream as much as possible.
The Real Meaning of Life
But just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t do it. In the end, I believe this is the meaning of life that the Guru on the top of the mountain would share with us. As a leader, understanding the need to identify an internal dream and working towards living a life based on how we want to feel is important for a number of reasons. When we are able to experience the feeling that we want it is energy building, giving us the incredible reserve of energy that is needed to lead. Also, sharing the idea of our internal dream with those that are following allows us to model wanted behaviors while at the same time helping others to create a life that they most want to live.
The act of contemplating how we want to feel and what kind of life we want to create is part of the Self Reflection process. By reflecting on our internal dream, we can begin the process of figuring out what is most important. When we are able to articulate how we want to live, based on how it is we want to feel, we are able to shift our focus away from those things that sap our energy, giving us the energy we need to work on things that are truly important to us and our organizations.
Leader’s Reflection: When we are able to articulate our ”internal dream“ based on how we want to feel, we are able to start living the life that we want most. When we are living the life that we want most, our energy and passion become infectious to those we are leading making it exciting to do our work every day.
