Reading time: 4 – 6 minutes
Imagine we lived in a world where you were only allowed to have one personal value. What would it be?
Our personal values are many and precious to us. It’s hard to even fathom the idea of only having one value. There is an exercise that I found some years ago in The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook
Knowing What Our Values Are
Let’s define personal values first. When I think of personal values I’m thinking of those things that we hold nearest and dearest to us. The things that we determine to be the most important part of our lives. The things that determine how we act and how we behave. Our values don’t just come out of thin air, we accumulate them throughout our lives. We develop our values over time from our parents, friends, school, our religion and even our cultural heritage and many of our core values are with us since childhood.
Effective leaders not only know what their values are, they also understand how important it is to be able to articulate these values to others and to live a life that is consistent with their values. When we are able to live a life that is consistent with our values, everything feels right with the world. But it can be hard work. We constantly face challenges to our values and if we are not crystal clear on what we value, we run the risk of finding ourselves in a moral dilemma.
What Do You Value Most
With the day-to-day pressure that we are constantly under, we rarely take the time to stop and reflect on what it is we value most. That’s where the exercise I mentioned earlier comes in. Here is a modified version for you to try:
Step 1: Write down seven words or phrases that describe things that you value most in your life. These could include things like: having a family; money; freedom; working with others; appreciation of others. Take the time to determine the right word or phrase, you really want the right description of what you value most. You don’t need to put them in any special order, just sort of brainstorm.
Step 2: Now for the really hard part. Once you have your list, imagine someone made you give up one of your values by saying that we live in a world that only allows you to have six things that you can value. Be thoughtful as to why you are willing to give this one up before the others. Put a line through the one that you would reluctantly give up.
Step 3: Slowly continue this giving up and crossing out process, and this is the key, by crossing out one at a time. After you have crossed off each one, stop and reflect on what you have left. The goal is not to race to the end of the list, it is to be thoughtful and understanding about why you are removing and keeping each value as you make your way through the list.
Step 4: When you find yourself looking at six crossed our values, circle the remaining one on the list. This ostensibly is the one thing that you value most in your life. The one thing that you would be willing to give up everything else for.
Living Your Values
I’ve used this exercise in workshops and in the classroom many times and participants always report having difficulty in two parts: coming up with the original list (even when provided with a list of over 80 values to choose from) and crossing off the final two values. But all have found the exercise helpful in clarifying what they value most.
When we’re able to articulate what we value, we are able to constantly monitor whether or not we are living in accordance with our values, which some would call acting with integrity. When we aren’t able to walk the talk as leaders, when we espouse values that we don’t live by, we lose credibility with others. Living our values starts with being able to know, understand, and accept what we value most.
Leader’s Reflection: It’s important to take the time to truly identify and articulate what our values are. When we understand our own values, we’re able to live a life based on these values. When our actions match our values, others are more likely to follow.
